Got a Headache? Put a Cat on Your Head. Thank you, Margaret Atwood

atwood for blog

Meeting Margaret Atwood up close for the first time. So exciting.

I have waited sixteen years to get this close to Margaret Atwood, ever since my introduction to her work (The Edible Woman) when I was nineteen.  I wanted to start with her first novel, and I’m glad I did.  Furthermore, I’ve been waiting eight years to ask her to read my palm.  This silent hope has been simmering since WordFest 2005 where she was the Banff Distinguished Author, presenting her novella The Penelopiad while I was an aspiring writer in the Banff Centre’s Wired Writing Program.  After the reading, a gang of us was somehow (I don’t know how) invited into the Festival hospitality suite where rumour circulated that Margaret was analyzing palms.
“Margaret Atwood reads palms?” I asked.
“Yeah!” a friend beamed.  “Go ask her to do yours.”
“No, no, no,” I shook my head.  I was far too intimidated to approach a woman whose intellect and wit could flatten me speechless in T-minus 2.  So I didn’t.
Until this morning.

There is a chronology to this story, however—beginning with last night’s sold-out event at the CPL’s John Dutton Theater, where Mayor Nenshi introduced Margaret, punctuating his intro with a wide grin, “If you don’t know who Margaret Atwood is,” he said, “shouldn’t you be running for City Council in Toronto?”  To which the audience burst into laughter.

BLOG 2 atwood with nenshi BLOG 2

Mayor Naheed Nenshi with Margaret Atwood last night at the John Dutton Theater.

Margaret, once on stage, threatened to zip Nenshi into a plush costume and take him back to Toronto claiming she’d ‘won’ him at darts.  Eloquent as always, she delivered some backstory on her dystopian trilogy that began with Oryx & Crake in 2003, and read from the freshly-minted third installment, MaddAddam.  A lively interview with CBC Radio’s Jim Brown evolved into a riveting discussion of science, the future, biology, genetic modifications, and potentials that surround the extinction of the human race.

“The future is already here, it’s just not very evenly distributed,” William Gibson once said, and Margaret, expanding on this quote, talked about how “futuristic” some parts of society currently are—high tech, accessible communications, instant access to global information—while other parts live a censored existence without access to even cell phones.  One of the reasons she appreciated the movie Blade Runner so much is because parts of the speculative future in the movie looked just like slums, which is true.  And what might cause us to finally go extinct?  Lack of food, one way or another.

In her trilogy, the Crakers are genetically-modified humans with built-in sunscreen and bug repellant.  They all have green eyes and no need for clothing.  They are leaf and grass-eating herbivores without a need for agriculture to sustain their diets.  They can self-heal by purring.  There is, she explained, scientific evidence that shows a purring cat can help humans heal.  “Should you have a migraine,” she said, “put a cat on your head.  How you will keep it there is another question.”

In MaddAdam, there are vitamins with germs deliberately put into the pills.  The same company that manufactures the pills also produces the only available remedy to the treat the infection.  “If you really want to know what’s going on with some of these plot lines,” she recommends Bad Pharma and Bad Science by British physician and academic Ben Goldacre.  She also mentioned the recent development of “Prostibots” in Holland.  I looked this up later and yes—this is exactly how it sounds—android prostitutes whose prices would be controlled by City Council.  “Think of all the female trafficking that could be avoided,” she said.  To which Jim laughed, “The Dutch are always ahead of us on everything!”

By the end of this interview I can’t imagine anyone in the room would disagree that we live in an astonishing time.  After the event came to a close, a tide of readers lined up to speak with Margaret and have their books signed.  Not exactly an opportune moment to ask her to look at my hand.  I accepted that I would just have to wait a few years for another opportunity to present itself.  And then… I was invited to accompany Jo Steffens (fearless Festival Creative Director) on the drive to take Margaret Atwood back to the airport. “10:15 at the Westin,” Jo said.  My heart swelled.

I walked into the Westin at 10am and ran immediately into Margaret.  “Hi,” I said.  “We met briefly last night.  I’m coming along to the airport this morning.”  It is difficult to quote the rest of this experience exactly, but I will do my best. “Let’s go wait in the Starbucks,” she suggested.  We entered the busy coffee shop.  She ordered a latte for the road.  We sat together at a small table and I asked her if she had a good time last night.  She said yes.  Was this the right moment to ask her about my palm?  Could I wait another two, five or eight years?
“So,” I said.  “You read palms…”
“Yes,” she said.  “Would you like me to have a look now?”
Elated, I leaned forward and put my right hand on the table.
She peered at the lines, “Sensitive!”
I laughed.
She explained that the left hand is “the hand we are dealt” and the right is “the one we are playing.”  Despite my sensitive nature I am stubborn.  Some difficulties in early life.  My Apollo line could be stronger.  I will never be a military leader, but my managerial skills are decent.  Not so practical, she said.
“Not so practical?”
“You won’t be an auto-mechanic.”
“You mean I don’t fix toilets.”
“Right.”  She paused.  “And good for you.”
She gave me a generous reading and explained some of the various components of palmistry.  And quite simply: Margaret Atwood touched my hands.  I feel just a little bit smarter already.
“Anything jump out on the health line?” I asked.
“A little bumpy right here, but you’ll be okay.  How are you feeling now?”
“I’m getting headaches.”
“You have a cat?”
“I’d put one on my head if I did.”

And all too soon, it was time to beat it to the airport.
Thank you Margaret Atwood.  Return to us.  Calgary loves you!

Calgary celebrates the release of MaddAddam with Margaret Atwood.  Notice WordFest Founding Creative Director Anne Green on the right; and Calgary Spoken Word Festival Director Sheri-D Wilson on the left.

Calgary celebrates the release of MaddAddam with Margaret Atwood. Notice WordFest Founding Creative Director Anne Green on the right; and Calgary Spoken Word Festival Director Sheri-D Wilson on the left.

Samantha Warwick is the author of the novel Sage Island (WordFest artist 2008 + 2009).  Her nonfiction and poetry have been broadcast on CBC Radio and appeared in various literary and commercial publications including Geist, Event, Room, filling Station, The Globe & Mail and FASHION.  Samantha is the Official WordFest Blogger for 2013, and moderator of “Afternoon Delight,” featuring L. Marie Adeline and Ophira Eisenberg on Saturday, October 19. 



Filed under 2013 Festival Blog

4 responses to “Got a Headache? Put a Cat on Your Head. Thank you, Margaret Atwood

  1. Love it. I’ve read the entire Oryx and Crake trilogy now. Some things, she told me at the writers fest in Kingston, like the pigs in which you can grow your own DNA-ed organs, are already possible. Scary. Didn’t get her to read my palm though.

    • samanthawarwick

      Hey, Glenn! Thanks for the comment. Kingston sounds amazing. The discussion about the future (and future of the human race) in context of her trilogy was such an eye-opener. Pigs growing human DNA-ed organs inside themselves is yet another development that compels me to keep better track of what kind of experiments are HAPPENING ALREADY. Including what the pharmaceutical industry is up to. Disturbing and thought-provoking, that’s for sure. See you tonight.

  2. Joan

    Does anyone have a good-tempered cat I could borrow?

  3. samanthawarwick

    Wish I could help, Joan!

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